Walking Out of the Darkness

 A good friend and fellow participant in our Living Vision Experiment, Debbie Allen, organized Petoskey’s first ever Walk to support the prevention of suicide. Today was the day, and what a day it was! Gorgeous blue skies, balmy temperatures for November 7, and the walk began at Petoskey’s waterfront park and proceeded west right along the water’s edge for about 4 miles.

About 23 of us gathered for introductions and some opening words from Deb and a few others, including a suicide survivor. Somehow, it seemed, we had all been touched by suicide. In my case, my grandfather took his own life, and I’ve since lost a couple very close friends and a couple of my high school students as well.

Just this week, NPR had a special segment in which the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs and his wife spoke of the alarming number of suicides happening each month in our enlisted military personnel. I believe the number was about a hundred and ten a month. I then heard from a veteran at the walk today that over 35% of the total suicides in America are veterans. And perhaps saddest of all, when a soldier takes his own life, he said, the family does NOT receive a letter of condolence from anyone in our military or government. (Ain't THAT America?)

Clearly, our country has a long way to go when it comes to understanding suicide, preventing it, and, when we fail to prevent it, responding to it with compassion and intelligence. For 23 of us, today was one small step in the right direction, and we were all so grateful to Deb for giving us the opportunity to heighten our own awareness and to raise a little bit of money for the cause.

The walk for me was a physical challenge and an exercise in dependence. I’m still in a heavy cast with a surgically repaired ankle and a broken fibula. I desperately need exercise and wanted to fight through my own weakness by walking/crutching as much of this important trail as I could. As my arms began to ache after the first mile or so, I thought of the families I know – and those I don’t – who have lost someone to suicide. I thought about that kind of pain that just won’t go away and crutched on. But soon, I had to succumb to the ache and to my own weakness. And fortunately, as I did, I was able to seek refuge in a wheelchair Deb had provided for me - along with one of her very fit co-workers named Jeff, who pushed me most of the rest of the way.

My physical struggle today struck me as an apt metaphor for how it is that we all manage to walk through our lives. We need some help getting started. We rely on a leader to organize us and call us to action. We do the best we can for as long as we can. But eventually, the best any of us can hope for is someone to be there when our strength runs out, when the road becomes too much for us, when we simply cannot go on. Today, for me, on my walk, Jeff was that someone. Who has it been for you? But even more importantly, can you and I be aware enough, present enough, open enough to be that someone pushing a wheelchair, holding the safety net, or providing a listening ear when some weary soul in our lives is no longer able to go on?

It’s not too late if you’d like to contribute to Deb’s Out of the Darkness Walk for the prevention of suicide. Email Deb at theallens@chartermi.net

Peace