DL’s goal is fostering a “universal compassion,” where we expand our “circles of concern until they finally embrace the whole of humanity.”(second to last page of chapter 4) Then in the middle of the chapter, identity, which we spoke of last week, resurfaces as DL calls us to “move beyond our limited or biased sense of closeness to this or that group or identity and instead cultivate a sense of closeness to the entire human family.” Can this be done? How?
Toward the beg DL writes that “people mistakenly assume that compassion is a religious practice.” DL uses as evidence for compassion not being religiously rooted the countless doctors and rescue workers who work to relieve suffering in the wake of tsunamis, hurricanes, etc. Is compassion necessarily a religious based practice? If not, how and through what means is compassion taught/caught, nurtured/conveyed?
DL makes a distinction between empathy and compassion. Is this helpful to you? Why/why not?
DL thoughts in this chapter provided insight for me in a couple of areas, with the first on pg. 45, about kindness. DL comments that whether others experience benefits from our kindliness towards them depends on several factors, some outside of our control. This is related to communication also, sometimes the kind message is not adequately communicated, sometimes the recipient cannot, or will not respond to kindness. Do we stop being kind then? Can kindness be "wasted"? Or do we continue to have "genuine compassion"- the determination to alleviate the suffering of others (pg 53), directed at the people themselves, not at their behavior (pg 52). I would think that everyone has been in such a situation, whether with your child, spouse, family members...think a minute of your particular memory, then look at your response--ongoing compassion, or "save it for later"? What do we ultimately hope to accomplish with compassion? Is compassion an accomplishment? Personally or for changing the response from someone else? I do agree that compassion for others takes us out of our own self-centeredness, if our motivation is clearly for others, as he says on pg. 48, being wise selfish means taking a broader view, and seeing that our own long-term individual interest lies in the welfare of everyone.
ReplyDeleteThis ties in with his levels of compassion, where I especially liked his comments about attachment. I am strongly attached to my children, my husband. I have to work to avoid becoming entangled sometimes, or entangling them, not always successfully. When I look at my involvement with groups, work projects, investment in research project findings, I feel highly invested in outcomes, but need to take care not to lose objectivity sometimes. There may be more that I need to find out about an area, that my level of involvement may cause me to miss. Sometimes I need someone else to compassionately point this out to me.
Toby, great thought provoking question..."Is compassion necessarily a religious based practice"? Yes and No...if by religious based we are referring to organized religions I would say no but if we are talking about religious based to mean a persons belief system, including a belief in a higher power, than I would say yes. In my experience with some of the most compassionate people that I have been blessed to know, there is a common thread in several of them. They do not belong to a church or profess any particular religion but ALL are believers in Christ and practice this belief in the everyday life dealings with humanity. One of these individuals that I shared your books with feels that it was life changing because "the way of Jesus" was so close to what she believed to be true and so different than anything she had learned in church. Thus I am very hesitant to believe a love for humanity and compassion does not somehow/somewhere stem back to a belief in a higher power. Julie H
DeleteHere is a thread question to get us started...
ReplyDeleteHow, specifically, can and should we widen the circle of our compassion, extending its limits toward, if not all the way to, the "whole of humanity," as DL recommends?
I think we should strive to widen the circle as much as possible..I'm looking forward to thr "HOW"
ReplyDeleteSo, on to the thread question - how DO we work on extending the circle of our compassion outward? What ideas do we have for actually doing that?
ReplyDeleteI guess for me, it begins with getting outside of myself, changing the standard comings and goings of each day. If, for example,I go to and from work the same way, the same time, arrange my day tightly from errand to errand, there's a good chance I never really notice or engage with the people all around me who are in need of compassion. Changing one's routine, one's field of vision seems vital to me in extending compassion.
ReplyDeletepersonally, for me, it's going out of my comfort zone and risking by becoming more involved and simply asking a person what the need or if they have a need
ReplyDeleteI think time is another factor. If I live my life by the clock and am generally running late, I simply won't take the time to truly "be with" people in any context. I think one of the reasons that Jesus, for example, was so compassionate was that he didn't seem to be living on any sort of schedule. He had places to go and things to do, to be sure, but he always seemed to take the time to address any human need he encountered on his way places
ReplyDeleteI think that is exactly it Toby..schedules, though a hassle at times are often safe and in my case sometimes an excuse for not doing more
DeleteBarb's comment above raised an interesting point. She spoke of DL's notion of attachment and how we can be too attached at times. It got me thinking, can we actually be less compassionate toward our inner circle of loved ones than we should/could be b/c we are so attached to them. I can't help but notice that I have been overly judgmental toward some of my immediate family and less so with people I'm less attached to. Almost as if I can be more compassionate to strangers at times than loved ones, if that makes sense. Thoughts?
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of schedules, time to move on over to Chapter 5 and its focus on compassion in the context of justice. Shall we move over to the comments section of the Ch. 5 entry? See you over there...
ReplyDelete