Ch 9 – Dealing with Destructive Emotions
This ch. really hit me hard as I have , in the last few years of my life, come to the profoundly humbling realization that much of my experience and world view is drastically colored by my own emotions and moods. In that light, what DL claims on the first page of this chapter – that “tackling these negative emotions is an important goal of ethical and spiritual practice” – is spot on.
How aware are you of your own genetic predispositions emotionally speaking? Are you more optimistic or depressed? How has that played into your attitudes and actions in the world? Are you aware of when your own “mental projections,” as DL calls them, are ramping up your irrational fears?
Respond to DL’s remark just before the subsection entitled “The Emotion Families,” where he says, “all these afflictive mental states in one way or another obscure our vision by clouding our capacity for discernment. They make us incapable of rational judgment, and thus we might say they steal our minds.”
For me, the crux of Ch. 9 is found in the section called “Understanding the Causes of Affliction.” DL notes that we “tend to see the troublemaker as something outside ourselves. If we reflect deeply, however, we discover that the real troublemaker is within us.” If you listen to the conversation all around us – including the 2 cents that we put in – isn’t it the case the we’re forever blaming others and outside forces for everything that is “wrong” with the world today – politically, economically, religiously, etc.? How do we change the dialogue from blaming others to taking responsibility ourselves?
What did you think of the door slamming story?
I feel like I may be obsessing a bit here...but that quote in the bottom paragraph above about discovering that the real troublemaker is within us just rings SO true to me in all this. Your thoughts?
ReplyDeletewell if the troublemaker is in all of us- then we are all troublemakers so it really does not serve any purpose to blame
ReplyDeleteI think the troublemaker is in us or can be at times and so we keep talking, praying. reading, doing whatever it takes to combat it/us and move forward
ReplyDeleteNancy..perhaps that is where true compassion comes in without judging
ReplyDeleteWe can only change our own behavior so I think that is where our energy should go- I find that when i openly admit that I am part of the problem those I am communicating with tend to soften and also carry part of the burden
ReplyDeleteYes, and that brings me back to DL's ch. 8 point about self-observation, evaluation. Are we saying on a daily basis "What did I do well today and what did I not do so well for the good of this world community?" And, again, asking that question as a part of community is a lot more helpful, motivating, and transforming that doing so alone.
ReplyDeleteYes Toby, I think we do BUT with kindness towards our selves..I often have a tendency to beat myself up for my short comings/mistakes and I don't think that is productive to myself or humanity
ReplyDeletethat is also where community/relationships can help- if those you are surrounded by treat you with love and kindness
ReplyDeleteIn practicing the contemplative, silent spiritual disciplines that we come together for on Tuesdays, I'm more and more conscious of trying to put myself in a peaceful, safe, non-judgmental enough place to be humble and open enough about where and how I need to change. I do think that being quiet and humbling ourselves before God as we do in such prayerful practices is huge. So much of what those practices are about is giving God a chance to hold a mirror up to us so we can see ourselves honestly and be inspired to change,grow, etc.
ReplyDeleteI am still working through DL's view of discernment..but perhaps these practices Toby, help us "apply discernment in our own behavior"
ReplyDeleteI wonder about DL's title as we talk about all this...Beyond Religion...is part of what we need to get beyond the often religiously induced sense of guilt, of not being good enough, of being broken up into all of these sub groupings/denominations/religions that cause us to focus on differences in belief rather than on the PRACTICES that are necessary for our survival on the planet?
ReplyDeleteagreed Tobes- not easy but important to try to see ourselves clearly as God see us
ReplyDeleteJust about out of time...other thoughts? Final thoughts and points...?
ReplyDeleteI really like that last comment Tobes-too much focus on differences
ReplyDeleteToby, I think we do get "beyond religion" and into the ways of Jesus..maybe we should start there AGAIN
ReplyDeleteThanks for the nice hour-good thoughts
ReplyDeleteThanks Nance and Julie. I can't tell you how I appreciate your thoughtful participation. We'll wrap up next Sunday with hopes that a few more folks will join us...but where two or three are gathered...You know the rest! Good night! Tobe
ReplyDeleteNight-Nance
ReplyDelete