Chapter 3
As DL outlines our common human quest for happiness, he identifies 3 main sources of our happiness: 1) wealth/prosperity, 2) health, and 3) friendship/companionship. Do you agree with these three? Are there other primary sources of happiness for you? (Comment!)
He also identifies 2 levels of satisfaction – 1) satisfaction based on sensory stimulation and pleasure and 2) satisfaction based on an inner level, a peace of mind level. Can you think of daily experiences that create these two types of satisfaction? Can you think of other levels of satisfaction as well? (Comment!)
What do you most want to discuss from Chapter 3? (Comment!)
I appreciate his comment of pg. 36 about friendship, defining true friendship as based on trust and affection arising when there is a mutual sense of concern and respect. Perhaps this is why as adults, it is so difficult to make true friends. Friends are not just those whom you are by necessity in proximity with (work, committee meetings, school, sitting in the same pew) when he says that feelings of isolation and loneliness are not counteracted by mere presence, but by inner values (attitude of concern and respect toward those others).
ReplyDeleteI have to toss this in: my other study group would choke to hear me say here that DL is writing about the same principles as Miroslav Volf (a Yale theologian with a convoluted systematic theology writing style), when DL writes more simply about sensory satisfaction on one level, and deeper satisfaction derived from our own inner depths. Volf says that when the scope of love diminishes (shrinks to self-satisfaction and self interest), love (DL uses the word compassion) and hope disappear as well, and humans do not flourish. I agree.
While I generally agree with DL's three sources of happiness, the first one truly scares me. I understand and, to some extent, affirm its presence on the list. But it truly seems to me, especially now, in the days of the Occupy movement and the Tea Party, that wealth/prosperity is the main thing dividing us. How can everyone in the world "pursue" wealth without creating conflict, bloodshed, and war? If one relies on the pie metaphor with a limited number of pieces, and assumes that everyone is pursuing, at the very least, his/her own "piece" of the pie, and, further, that some others want some other pieces as well, be it for a rainy/hungry day or to store in their storage barns, the inherent problems are obvious. Unless we can re-educate the world (beginning with Americans) regarding how much less we need/require than we tend to want and consume, I have very little hope that world can survive/endure, much less come together in any sort of unity. And as long as we say and affirm that wealth is a major source of our happiness, how are we ever going to lessen people's rampant pursuit of it, pursuit that is, it seems to me, inherently competitive and resulting in few winners and countless losers....The slogan "We are the 99%" comes to mind. So I guess I would be in favor of changing DL's first source to something along the lines of "having one's basic physical needs met."
ReplyDeleteRegarding the two levels of satisfaction, I think this is important. The one based on sensory pleasure has, in many ways, taken over America. It is almost as if people think it is the only form of pleasure and satisfaction. But having said that, it is much tougher to define and guide people toward the other "higher" level. Again, for me, understanding this less tangible level is easier with Eloise in my life. Being with her doing almost anything provides that deeper level of peace and contentment. I guess I would also say that interaction like this book group provides also gives me that higher satisfaction. So thanks to all you who are participating!
I struggle a bit with wealth as a source of happiness but maybe our definition of wealth is part of the problem.-I do agree with the two levels of satisfaction-why do you think it is so hard for people to see how compassion brings so much happiness-possibly they are afraid of getting that close to others, feeling their pain etc...Maybe some of the folks that struggle with this have never truly felt compassion themselves?
ReplyDeleteCan we each share one thing, one activity, one practice that for us provides that inner satisfaction, that 2nd level of satisfaction?
ReplyDeletethere was a Newsweek article last November talking about is upward mobility still possible in America, and how it is more possible in some European countries because "wealth" is more evenly distributed.
ReplyDeleteWhen I can be patient and really listen to my husband when he is struggling this makes me feel truly happy- why is it so hard with those closest to us?-Nancy
ReplyDelete2nd level: Running along the bluff, looking at the lake, easy to pray while running. Listening to the waves, looking out to infinity on the horizon.
ReplyDeleteI sound like Buzz Lightyear...to infinity and beyond! However, it does give inner peace, and makes me feel connected to this world, life.
DeleteBarb - I guess my "hope" in this country lies in more of us seeking and embracing "downward mobility." I think there IS joy and connection, compassion and love as we let go of so much of what we generally cling to. thus my discomfort with wealth as a source of happiness.
ReplyDeleteNancy, I agree that really listening, so that someone feels authentically heard, is a very satisfying gift to give another. I have been learning this lately and i want to do it more and more. It is truly satisfying to offer undivided presence and listening to another persons.
ReplyDeleteI said it before, but I truly feel that 2nd level of satisfaction in what I/we are doing right now. Thinking and "talking" about important things, ways of being better human beings. This matters a great deal to me and I am grateful to each of you for it, just as I am grateful to those who join us for our spiritual practices on Tuesday nights.
ReplyDeleteSince my divorce and subsequently having to make it on my own, I get peace with a clean kitchen sink and a drainer of drying dinner dishes.
ReplyDeleteIt means my kiddos are snug in their beds for the night, we have food, and we ate together as a family. Oh, and I'm usually warm and there's a light on over my head.
Did I mention that I'm taking a page from Thoreau's Walden and distilling life down to the basics and appreciating the snot out of all of them!! :)
The other thing that gives me satisfaction is accepting what IS. It's much harder and more profound than it seems. Accept this moment for what it contains (good bad and otherwise).
ReplyDeleteI am grateful for you Toby-nancy
ReplyDeleteWow, Melanie and Julie -that is some powerful stuff!
ReplyDeleteYeah for appreciating the small things!
ReplyDeleteCan you tell I work in a windowless office? Light, seeing God's presence in the world is important.
ReplyDeleteI really believe-simple is better!!!!!-nancy
ReplyDeleteDL gets this part right anyways.
ReplyDeleteWe're in our final 2-3 minutes. Final thoughts? Questions? Suggestions for next Sunday? I personally feel like we did pretty well this first test run. It's NOT like actually being together but it's not supposed to be.
ReplyDeleteBjaquith.. more small stuff. That's it! appreciate the light, the environment, the person struggling in front of you.... I appreciate my dog too. And while we are appreciating, isn't it likely that we will be more generous and kind to those we meet?
ReplyDeleteIt was super- wont be in touch next week, but will catch up soon-Nancy
ReplyDeleteIf wealth is evenly distributed, is there no need for upward or downward mobility, can we have contentment?
ReplyDeleteGood week to all-Nancy
ReplyDeleteJust a reminder, I will be entering one blog entry for each chapter - and I think we're doing 4-7 though I don't have the sheet in front of me. So, same drill. Everyone attempts to leave at least one comment on each entry by Friday or Saturday of this next week and then we begin sunday - but next time will be at 7:30 - is that the time we said?
ReplyDeleteI am SO grateful for each of you and for this time. seriously, thanks to each of you. Are we ready to sign off? If you have other questions about process and suggestions etc, just email me at tobyjones48@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteGrace & Peace - Tobes
Bye!
ReplyDelete